“So I kicked him, badass hard.
He was wailing, on his knees, in the middle of the street.
Those littler kids he’d been tormenting cause he was so
big and tough, got their laughfest on. I showed him how
tough could turn. Silly Fool with a misshapen tool; just the
stooge for practicing my martial moves. So now he’s puking
and calling me Martian like that’s a curse. I’m so cool.
He’s a weeping baby and I’m Martian Girl.”
Autumn’s exploit thrills her. That deep release, to let loose
against a clear foe.
School’s out. Street punks with no better motive or activity
mark territory with threats and struts. Nobody expects an
avenging angel in the shape of a girl mostly child in size and
figure. She does practice fighting forms, keeps exercised and fit,
wary and ready to fight back.
“Kathy and I took self-defense training offered through the
women’s empowerment programs at a couple of the shelters.
We were all about empowerment, you know, she was then.
I was all into the exercise to let out, you know, anger, confusion.
It gave me a physical focus to keep from exploding. Not that I
had ever been exposed to fighting sports before. I mean I danced,
ran, swam, activities appropriate to burn energy and develop tone
and graceful presentation. At least I was aware of body training
for coordination, channeling energy, developing fitness.”
She illustrates with smooth, sure movements, exercises now long
practiced for flexible strength, impressive impact.
I could easily overpower her with my unearned vampire strength,
but can imagine no such motivation. Instead, I exuberantly act
the foil, falling, feinting, avoiding direct connection beyond harmless
In my mortal childhood I had often to endure tasks of physical demand.
Yet certainly I got no training in sport or defense. I do not pre-think nor
train my actions, but behave within the frame of the moment as motive
dictates. Now I am all about child play simplicity, pleasure of
I feel burden of so little I can do for her. She gives me so much more
than I can ever reciprocate. My world, experience, so different, what can
it bring her? This is her world, the environment that raised her to this
point, that forms her options, expectations, obligations, boundaries.
I don’t want to think beyond this moment while we are children together,
the world out there merely a vague eventuality.